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Because Christmas Shopping Sucks

Christmas shopping… Bah humbug.

Every year I promise myself that I’ll have all my shopping done before December, and every year I fail utterly and completely.

If the idea of wandering around crowded shopping centres brings you out in hives… Or because like me you’ve previously sustained real injuries whilst out Christmas shopping (thanks to the crazed parents wielding 4×4 style  buggies) you’re probably doing as much as you can online.

Mmmm online. At home. No crappy Christmas compilation CDs assaulting your ear drums…

Anyways if you like shopping online, but hate paying delivery charges you should probably check out the Free Delivery Day site. Shop on Friday 9th December and pay nowt for delivery. Nice, huh?

They’ve already got loads of retailers on board including TopShop, L’Occitane, Apple, and Lego.

The idea is the creation of founder Luke Knowles, who developed the American Free Shipping Day in 2008. The idea took off and in 2010, the event became the third-heaviest day of online shopping in U.S. history with $942 million spent across the Internet – an increase of almost 60% over 2009.

Fill your boots… Or, erm stockings…

Image credit

Cornflake Snow, Fake Antlers & Cursing

Merry Christmas, innit!

Bad Santa: Behind the scenes of Christmas (Infographic)
Source: LocateTV


The reds often visit at this time of year.

Infinitely reliable,

Well, more than some I could mention;

And always intent upon outstaying their welcome.

They are attracted to baubles and tinsel and bad Christmas songs;

In just a few more sleeps, 

They will all be gone…

Christmas Day… The Results Show

I’m partying it up in Disneyland right now, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology I can schedule posts to go live – so it’s like I’m still here… Man, I’m good to you guys 😉

…Erm, and apologies to those who were hoping for some peace and quiet.

You may remember that I made some resolutions for Christmas Day; and I did promise a results post – so here goes:

I’ll not get completely wasted on Christmas Eve – typically I’ve a mean hangover on Christmas Day. As a result I think my temper gets frayed more quickly. (NB – this is going to be a tough one to keep)

Well I did say it was going to be a tough one to keep… and I completely failed. I was wasted on Christmas Eve; however, I somehow wasn’t hungover – go me! Instead I think I had some kind of viral thing (I probably knocked my immune system for six with alcohol); so I was achy, shivery cold all day, had to wear about ten jumpers, and kept whacking the thermostat up whenever my Mummy was looking the other way. Consequently everyone else was sweating buckets – uh oh.

I’ll not sweat the small stuff – someone will inevitably say something offensive (it’s normally my Mum – she suffers with foot in mouth disease); but I’ll do my best not to react. In the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter.

Hmmm, I think I managed this one. As I recall though, there were very few mean comments made…

I’ll go for a short walk on Christmas Day – ideally alone, but I won’t behave like an ass if someone wants to come with me. See, I find Christmas Day kind of claustrophobic – too many people stuck in a stuffy house. I figure if I can escape – even if it’s only for 20 minutes I’ll be a much nicer person when I come back.

Nope – complete fail here – couldn’t get warm inside so there was no way I was going outside.

I’ll not sulk when I don’t get to watch what I want on TV – (this probably comes under not sweating the small stuff)

Managed this one! I kept failing asleep in front of the TV anyways. Also nobody moaned about me wanting to watch Strictly Come Dancing, and that’s all I wanted to watch.

I’ll try not to get too drunk on Christmas Day – chez Smith, Christmas is VERY boozy, but too much drink always leads to stupid arguments

Managed this one too! Although, again this may have been because I was shivery etc.

I’ll not be disappointed when my Dad doesn’t come to surprise me (I know, I *really* need to get over that one!)

Well he didn’t come, but he did call and we got to have a proper chat which was really good. The child in me might still have been a bit disappointed but I think it’s an improvement.

I’ll not resent my brother (even though he gets off *really* lightly at Christmas – see I’m doing it again 🙂 )

Yep managed this one too! Me am the best… Also, I have to admit to doing next to nothing on Christmas Day apart from disappearing to curl up under my duvet and find more jumpers.

I will not show off by knowing the answers to all the cracker jokes – instead I will let whoever’s reading the jokes read the punchline… Then laugh, even if the joke’s rubbish

This one should have been easy, but I’m ashamed to admit I failed. I did answer at least one of the cracker jokes… I’m hanging my head in shame right now. 

I will wear my paper hat from my cracker even though they make my head itch, look ridiculous and are always too big

I did it! And I didn’t moan – me am de best!

I *will* have a good time!

You know what? I think I did. I felt pretty poorly which was a shame, but it was a really nice day. I also got loads of really lovely presents and I got to watch Strictly Come Dancing.


So, to recap. Out of a possible 10 resolutions, I succeeded in keeping about 7. Which isn’t bad, right?

Please feel free to make me feel like a better person by sharing your failings this Christmas…

Merry Bloomin’ Christmas!

Well my loves, it’s here again…

I hope Santa’s good to you xxx

Six Million Dollar Man Christmas!
Six Million Dollar Man Christmas!

Image credits – dogwelder via flickr