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November, 2009:

Lucie Silvas – Smoke

My, but this is lovely.

The gorgeous Lucie Silvas and her equally lovely sister Mia Silvas performing Smoke.

Amazing, huh?

Night loves. I’ve had wine, and drunken blogging is dangerous xxx

I’m Glad I’m a Girl, But Then Again…

Today, whilst wondering what the devil I ought to write about, I was looking through one of the many draft posts which litter this blog. The title sucked, so I won’t share it with you, but I’d written one sentence:

“A man gets killed by a biro in the Bourne Identity…”

That’s all I’d written. I may have been drunk. Maybe I was leading on to some sort of witty comment about the pen being mightier than the sword… who knows.

Anyway, I’ve never seen the Bourne Identity and I was wondering if some poor soul does indeed get killed by a biro in the film. I decided to hit up big G and see.

I began to type ‘man gets’ and got this:

  

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm – unsavoury.

Kinda made me glad I was a girl… until I repeated the search replacing man with woman:

 

 

 

 

 

 

On balance, I think it’s marginally better to be a girl. There seems to be less in the way of violent death… but there’s not much in it.

Sometimes I forget how odd the interwebz are.

One Year On

So I just realised that my blog is one today.

I think it deserves cake.

 

Image credit chotda

Over-Sharing and the Art of Gracelessness

I think that there are very few people on the planet who are truly comfortable in their own skin. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty comfortable, but nonetheless suffer with a millionty (yes that is a number) teeny tiny insecurities which have a habit of turning me into a big giant ball of fear.

The fear is exacerbated when I’m nervous.

I’m pretty certain that I’m not really good enough, witty enough, intelligent enough, etc.

However, I’m frequently (ok maybe not frequently, but fairly often) told that I’m just fine. Sometimes it’s even someone other than my Mum telling me that too.

So why the fear?

I think that some people have a woefully inaccurate perception of me. Seriously.

I’m not particularly confident.

I find socialising difficult.

I mostly like to hang out with just a few close friends.

In social situations I get nervous, I gracelessly over-share because I think I hope that someone else will over-share too, we can giggle about it and make some sort of ‘connection’.

It’s lame.

I’m certain that people don’t need to know about how (after a drunken night out) I ended up at a guy’s flat, and when I returned from the toilet, I found him wearing nothing but a smile and a guitar. Naked serenade anyone? Oh and the song was really bad… *Really* bad.

Oddly I think I was more embarrassed than him.

 

I spend large proportions of evenings with “shutuphannahseriouslyshutthefuckupwhydidyousaythatyougiganticfreak*” playing on a loop in my brain.

*The voice in my head which berates me doesn’t believe in spacing or punctuation. Sometimes it’s my voice, but sometimes it sounds a little like Janeane Garofalo. I’m not sure why. Neither voice silences whatever’s been spewing forth in any case. Oh the futility.

 

When I get home after a night out I’ll replay all the bits where I made myself cringe until I feel a little bit sick. I’ll often vow that next time I’ll just stop in and watch CSI. I’ve never once made a twat out of myself whilst sitting on my sofa watching CSI. Watching CSI is the right thing to do. The safest option, right?

Trouble is, the safe option isn’t necessarily going to make you happy. I’ve been told that CSI is not a substitute for a social life… or a boyfriend. Shame.

 

So, did we ‘connect’ yet?

I shared. I told you about naked guitar guy AND the voice in my head that sounds like Janeane Garofalo AND how I often wish I’d just stayed in and watched CSI.

It’s your turn.

Tell me something about how you’re a big freak. It would make me feel better.

 

But, if you don’t want to, I guess I’m kinda hoping that my over-sharing has helped in any case.

Maybe you’ll feel better because it’s nice to know that there’s someone else on the planet who over-shares and regrets it when they’re nervous. Maybe you’ll feel better because you know that someone else on the planet feels as socially inept as you do too.

Maybe you’ll read it and feel superior, because you’ve never felt like that. If you’re that guy or gal I’d quite like to hear from you… in a funny sort of way. Not least because I wonder if; or maybe secretly hope that  *you* are the freak.

Because everyone else feels just like me…

 

 

Image credit Stuant63

Wallace & Gromit Google Doodle

It’s Wallace & Gromit’s 20th birthday – and they’ve got their own Google Doodle:

 

This might just be my favourite Google Doodle to date.

 

Update – I might have changed my mind. Today in America they got this Google Doodle:

It’s Sesame Street’s 40th Birthday. Which means Sesame Street is older than me… Which makes me feel younger – you can see where I’m going with this, right?