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Shooting for Mediocrity

Hello loves, Happy Friday!

In my continued quest to stop this blog from spiralling into a scary ol rant-fest today’s post is all about the master plan which myself and the lovely Jules concocted over tea and millionaires shortcake last week.

Myself and Jules often sit and muse about the various ways that we can make our lives truly, madly, deeply amazing.

Shooting for Mediocrity is one such project.

The plan, my loves is this:

I have many dreams, just one of which is to become just famous enough that I can secure myself a spot on Strictly Come Dancing. Now, given that ‘celebrity status’ (albeit closer to Z list than A list) seems to be a requirement for Strictly, I need to find a way to get just famous enough that I can be considered eligible.

Given that I’d also like to be a singer, we figured (in our sugar rush state), that we could potentially kill two birds with one stone – we could achieve a little success as a band *AND* (as a result of the celebrity status which would follow) be eligible for Strictly. Nice.

So, we then decided to talk band names.

For some reason last Friday I was a bit obsessed with pop socks. Not because I like pop socks, in fact I think they’re hideous, but I like the way the words sound together – pop sock, pop sock, pop sock – sort of almost, but not quite a rhyme… whatever, lets just put it down to the sugar.

So I was coming up with names like Pop Sock Premonition, and Jules was trying to steer me away from talking about band names and on to more sensible subjects. As usual I began moaning about the fact that someone had stolen ‘Running with Scissors’ (the band name me and I my friends came up with in school)…

Then, my loves, we struck gold – ‘Shooting for Mediocrity’.

It’s such a good band name – it has a wonderful nod to the fact that I’m only in it, in order to acheive very minor celebrity status so I can go on Strictly. It’s also very British in it’s self-depricating tone. I really think that this could be the best band name ever.

Hell, I think it’s even better than Running with Scissors.

So, we’ve now got a few bits and pieces to do:

  1. Find some people who can play some instruments (although Jules says she’s gonna learn guitar, I’m proficient at the triangle and do a passable impression of someone playing the tambourine)…
  2. Write some songs (yep we’re a bit worried about this one*)
  3. Play some gigs
  4. Get a record contract
  5. Achieve minor celebrity status
  6. Get to go on Strictly

*We kind of went off on a tangent here about how perhaps rather than writing proper songs we could write some beatnik poetry. I think this would be very cool because another one of master plans is to win the lottery and open up my own bookshop with a coffee shop inside it and have beatnik poetry evenings.

Not a clue what I’m talking about? Watch this clip:

 

So anyway, back to the point – Shooting for Mediocrity – it’s gonna be… Mediocre… (well it is what we’re shooting for).

If you want to join me in my quest, kindly sign up below – the merchandising deals alone are going to make us literally tens of pounds.

5 Comments

  1. Jules says:

    Woah there Doris! And hell-fire! You’ve taken this web-global?!

    I was plumping for printing up some 1-colour fliers on my dad’s printer to drop round a 65+ neighbourhood, where the average biddy responds well to buying crystal trinkets off the back of Sunday mags, not gig tickets from NME…. Seriously, I think we’ve over shot here! We need to talk….

  2. Hannah says:

    Let’s not fall out already! For one, we can’t even PR the story of our ‘in-fighting over creative differences’ because we’re not famous yet.

    Let’s fight when we’re famous, ok?

    Maybe we’ll make it to the lofty heights of Closer magazine.

    The fliers are an excellent idea love. Now, has anyone in your neighbourhood lost a cat? Perhaps we could charge them to advertise on our flier to recoup some of the costs?

    Don’t work harder baby, work smarter 😉

  3. […] This is guest post from the lovely Jules, in response to Shooting for Mediocrity  […]

  4. Hellawaits says:

    I am confused! :-/
    but i can play a little bit of a few instruments so if you ran out of choices i would be better than nothing 😉

  5. Hannah says:

    Emo!

    I think you’d look great in one of those pork pie hats, so for that reason alone you’re on!

    To be honest we’re not too worried about the whole instrument-playing-song-writing part of being in a band… We think it’ll just… *happen* – believe in it baby!

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