Valentine’s Day - Common Myths Dispelled

Dear readers, I do not heart Valentine’s Day.

Today I’ve taken it upon myself to try to dispell some common myths - so here goes:

1. The practise of giving and recieving tokens of love has nothing whatsoever to do with Saint Valentine.
2. Oh, and incidentally, there was more than one Saint Valentine in any case.
3. Valentine’s Day cards are almost without exception sappy. As far as I’m concerned nothing says I love you less than a card from Clintons that set you back £1.50 (and don’t get me started on Moonpig).
4. The sending of a gigantic card does not mean that you love someone a large amount. In fact it shows you have no taste or class.
5. A single red rose in cellophane that you bought from some dosey Doris wandering around the restaurant / bar / nightclub is not a romantic gesture.
6. Pizza Hut is not a restaurant (neither is McDonalds, Wimpy, Kentucky Fried Chicken or anywhere else where the staff wear paper hats). 
7. In any case, going out for dinner on Valentines Day is not nice. Typically you’ll find yourself with a hideously limited menu and you’ll pay through the nose for it. But the couple watching can be fun -50% have nothing to say to each other. The other 50% will be having one of those whispered arguements.
8. A lone violin player wandering round the restaurant serenading couples is not romantic, it’s embarassing - restaurants should hire Mariachi bands instead - at least they’re fun.
9. ‘Romantic’ songs are rarely actually romantic - mostly they’re vomit inducing.
10. Sexual Healing is not a romantic song.

Love Heart

 Image Credit zenilorac via flickr.