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Tesco – I Hate You!

Dear readers, those who know me, will attest to the fact that I am a filthy smoker.

I am not a nice person sans cigarettes.

I was running low today before I went to rehearsal, but figured – not to worry Tesco doesn’t close until 11pm or something – I’ll pick some up on my way home.

Well, I was right about Tesco remaining open, but not apparently the cigarette counter.

They close the cigarette counter at 10pm.

It’s absolute bloody lunacy. I mean – smokers *need* cigarettes after 10pm. No one *needs* carrots after 10pm. Or leeks, or some kind of hideous frozen fish pie.

But you can buy carrots, leeks, hideous frozen fish pie and much, much more at Tesco after 10pm.

Just not cigarettes.

All I want is cigarettes. From Tesco, after 10pm. Is that really too big an ask?

Tesco claim every little helps. Well Tesco there’s a wee small little thing you could do to help me – keep the cigarette counter open until you close the store.

Oh and Tesco? I hate you.

Now – to any smokers out there with a stash of fags – right now I’d quite possibly cut off my right arm for a pack.

However to avoid any unneccesary blood shed would you be willing to trade some carrots, leeks and a hideous frozen fish pie for just one ickle cigarette? Me love you long time xxx


  1. Will says:

    I had a similar problem with trying to buy alcohol at a 24hr ASDA. Surely alcohol becomes more of a necessity after 10pm than frozen peas! perhaps they should state the following:

    24hour ASDA*

    *you will experience a reduction in the products we offer after 10pm.

    Anyways just to move away from taking the mick – I’m not sure if I’m stating the obvious here (I probably am) but i think it has something to do with the laws governing the sale of alcohol and cigarettes and not Tesco.

    Perhaps they’re trying to help you quit…. you know ‘every little helps’ and all!?

  2. Hannah says:

    Hey you,

    There are (as you suggest) laws governing the sale of alcohol (i.e. you can only sell it at certain times). However, no such law exists with regard to cigarettes.

    They are just doing it because they hate me.
    And I hate them right back.

    Re trying to quit – I’ve been reading that book Rich read. It makes a lot of sense… Unhappily I think I’m too bloody minded to take any notice of it.

  3. morrison says:

    I just hate TESCO **!!!

  4. joe says:

    well i hate u tescos pretty cool if u ask me

  5. Hannah says:

    Hi Joe,

    Thanks for stopping by to tell me that you hate me.

    You say you think Tesco’s pretty cool. That’s excellent. It would have been nice if you’d quantified the statement, but I’m sure you’re very busy… too busy even to bother with capital letters or punctuation.

  6. Jon says:

    You are all missing the point! tesco’s is not and never has been interested in what it customers want! It has only ever been a money making operation, despite its claims to be otherwise.
    Every new thing they bring in, incuding self sevice tills and no ciggeretts after 10pm, is, so they say, is in the interest of the comman good, as regarding its customers and staff- and is what they want!
    Its got nothing to do with you!
    And this is what staff and management spout. Because they have to do as they are told, or won’t get promotion!
    Wonder if the staff have realised the more they go along with this the greater the chance they will become redundent!
    Notice how each new idea requires less staff!
    Any way, who are they to tell me I can’t buy ciggerettes after 10pm!!!
    I can buy alchohol, fattening saturated fat garbage, cheap toys and cheap d.v.d. players etc.
    But ciggeretts are a no, no! after 10pm.
    Who do you think you are kidding “tesco.”
    P.s. Watch out for b&q and the other multiple’s to follow suit!!
    tesco don’t give a damn!

  7. David says:

    It’s not just ciggarettes they do this with.
    I very recently tried to purchase a video game for my playstation 3 console at around half eleven, this was on a saturday night. However there should have been no problem since tesco are now open that extra two hours until midnight.

    Well guess what? I was wrong to think like that. I was promptly greeted by staff saying that since customer services closed at 10pm I couldn’t buy the game as they had no access to keys for the customer service area. As far as I’m concerned this is not my fault and should not hinder my purchase of anything in store unless stated any where that after the stated time certain items may become unavailable. Which there is no indication of.

    I made this point very clear to the staff who were very quick to apologise but constantly kept repeating about them having no keys and they’re sorry. So I asked for the manager and 15 minutes later got a guy dressed in a similar unform to the other staff, albeit with a fleece (in june, i know). he did seem to look for keys but showed no real care about my points and clearly just wanted me out the store seeing as it was now ten minutes til they were due to close.

    I also informed this no named manager that I would write to his direct superior and his area manager. Guess what? he didnt care. And I will even send an email to the head honcho through his personal address within tesco.

    If anyone wants that email address its here

    oh and heres the address for the head office

    Tesco Customer Service
    PO Box 73
    Baird Avenue
    Dryburgh Industrial Estate
    DD1 9NF

    Have any of you guys experienced this kind of crap from tesco because if you have we can do something about it, im sure we can. Oh and sorry for the rant.

  8. Hannah says:

    @David – You are more than welcome to rant here whenever you like 🙂

    Do let me know if you get anywhere with your complaint.

  9. […] Closer to home they’ve ruined my local Tesco. Which makes me hate them even more than I did before. […]

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