Christmas is Coming, Ready or Not!

Ready or not, here it comes, you can’t hide…

It’s around this time of year that I curse myself.

Christmas Day is on 25th December. It’s always on that date, it never changes… And yet it always seems to sneak up on me.

I’ve done some shopping. But mostly I’ve been procrastinating.

It’s just all so horrid. The shops are oppressively hot and jam-packed with other stupid people like me who just aren’t organised enough to get all their shopping done.

To add in insult to injury, they insist on playing truly awful Christmas songs which make me want to inflict harm on those around me.

This is also the time of year when the Christmas temp pops up. Stores employ people just for the Christmas season. Of course because these employees are only around for a matter of days or weeks, for the most part they are given little or no training. Hence they are about as much use as a chocolate teapot. This of course makes me angry, and then I’m horrid to them.

Then I feel horrid about being horrid to them.

Then someone in the shop will say something like - ‘Cheer up it’s Christmas!’

But that’s the problem isn’t it?

If it wasn’t Christmas then:

1. I wouldn’t be Christmas shopping.
2. The shops wouldn’t be packed.
3. They wouldn’t be playing Christmas songs.
4. I wouldn’t be idly wondering if it was possible to beat someone to death with a roll of very cheap, and frankly very ugly wrapping paper.
5. The Christmas temps wouldn’t be there - chances are I might be able to locate a member of staff who could actually help me.
6. I wouldn’t be horrid, then feel bad about being horrid

Chances are, I might actually be quite cheerful.